The thing that loomed over me during my interview was is one question more valuable then the next. It’s odd when you first enter the interview you have a set format or outline you plane to follow. What is great and something I found out during the interview is that no matter where you picture the strength, it’s usually the follow up that gives the writer the body. The line of questioning is only a setup for the true story, and when you think you found the main point it shifts. The great thing with this interview was, I went in with one thought, but came out with a better story.
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I think in law enforcement you can’t help but be defined by your job… it’s second nature. I might not have a uniform on, I might not be getting paid, but I still notice the same things that I would when I’m working. I still interact with people the same way as I would when I am working, and I can not never be a cop. I can’t go out in public and act a fool with my friends. You’re very much always seen as a law enforcement officer, I have no choice but to be defined by it. I was always pretty much been mature for my age, but when I became deputy, it forces you to look at the world differently. You always hear stories about drug addicts and their kids, the filthy conditions they live in. When you see it first-hand… It’s hard to watch, and innocent eighteen month old baby dirty running around with no shoes on, and heroine needles uncapped laying all over the ground, It’s hard to not be mad at their parent. It’s very difficult to bite your tongue, a lot of the times you would like to tell these people what you think about them, but that not your job. That goes along with being more mature and excepting what our job what are jobs is.
We’re police officer, we collect facts, make arrest, and it’s not our job to judge. What people do, it really changes your outlook on life, it makes you a little bit guarded and less trust worthy. I use common since all the time instead of just sometimes. I really think it has made me change the way I look at other people and how I chose to live my life and around those other people. I know that if I make an arrest and it’s not good, I didn’t follow all the rules or I skipped a step cause I know this guys a piece of crap, I can’t do that, because then he won’t get his punishment, and then in turn I just failed that kid. I think a lot of us suppress certain things out of our mind. You have to look at this it’s my job, and with most things you can. I have to do A, B, and C and you do them, follow almost a diagram you just make it like that, and then when you go home you try not to think about. Every cop you will ever talk to has the same dream, where you try to shoot someone and your gun doesn’t work. I know that ever cop that I’ve spoken to has had that dream, and it’s really scary. I think as much as we try to not take things home, or separate our calls from reality in our personal lives, it’s still… it gets in there and bothers us. Especially officers that discharge their weapons or have been shot at, I obviously have not, but I couldn’t imagine, that would be really hard to deal with. Dealing with life and death every day I could walk up on a car running a red light, and be two feet away from the door not even know who’s in the car, and get shot. There’s nothing you can do about it, that’s just a bad day to be a cop. This is going to sound cliché’, but I enjoy when I do actually get to help someone and change someone’s life for the better, there’s no other feeling. I couldn’t imagine not having it, not doing it, and there just a certain amount of – pride I guess just from being a police officer. I feel that I would be lost, I would feel worthless.